Sex, Drugs & Unix

Tuesday, May 30th

The latest news from Spokane

Its been a while since we checked in on what's happening in Spokane.

Lets see whats all-the-news,

A North Spokane man was stabbed by a group of teenagers early Saturday morning while trying to prevent his car from being vandalized.

The (bankrupt) Catholic Diocese of Spokane, facing $200 million in sex abuse claims, plans to sell its headquarters and other property, hoping to fetch $11 million. This after a federal judge rejected a $45.7 million settlement, because it only compensated 75 of the 185 victims who have filed suit.

The Spokane County Medical Examiner has ruled that Spokane resident John Stanley's death on March 15th in an apartment above Boo Radley's in downtown Spokane was the result of "excited delirium." You may not find the diagnosis "excited delirium" in a medical dictionary, but it’s popping up more and more around the country, especially when people die right after brawling with the police. Apparently this happens a lot in Spokane. Could be nearly every week. Could also be that the coroner finds "excited delirium" sexy, I suppose.

The Spokane Fire Department pulled a body from the Spokane River. "You drown 'em, we found em." --Spokane FD

The Spokane Police Department's gang unit is racing against time trying to put a dent in gang activity before school lets out for the summer and long warm nights lead to trouble on the streets. I'm just quoting here. What can I possibly add to that? The article notes that 40% of Spokane's jail population are gang members.

And, of course, the pedophiles still prowl the streets. "News4 is told a 5th grader was walking home when a man in his 30's tried to grab her and take her clothes off."

Then there is Spokane's own version of "Too Much Coffee Man". Gallagher was also arrested last fall after posting a sign in his car windshield soliciting sex. He was also naked at that time and possessing pornography.

And finally, Spokane can't afford to pay the retirment for part of its police force.

Spokane: too cheap to live, too mean to die.
Jim on 05.30.06 @ 11:28 PM PST [link]

HTML O' the day

... and do that thing you're supposed to do.

Me, I'm confident it will work.

This game does more than threaten the future with an army of highly
trained madmen proctologists, it shames America's industrial complex.
[Warning: Adult Content]

Web sites as graphs.

The party also said everybody should be allowed to go naked in public
and promotes legalizing all soft and hard drugs and free train travel
for all.

World's Largest Pyrogy

Mosquito Carrying a Man

The mother lode, for planning your summer vacation.

Ask a Ninja: Net Neutrality [Warning: Sound]

Say, what did you think all those saddles and boots was about?
[Warning: Adult Language, Political, Sound]

[The RIAA is aggressively removing the video, you may have to search.]

Starbucks Barrista Iced Tea Buffer Overflow.

When Balzac saw the painting, he asked whether he could be left alone with it.

Jim on 05.30.06 @ 07:57 PM PST [link]

Intensity in ten cities

Ted Nugent -- The Whackmaster, The Ten Fingers of Doom, Uncle Ted, Sweaty Teddy, The Motor City Madman, and The Nuge -- has decided to run for governor of Michigan. A concerned citizen gives him a few apparently necessary pointers.

------
link

Ted Nugent
China Spring, Texas

Dear Mr. Nugent:

I was delighted to see you announce your candidacy for Governor of Michigan this weekend. Overall, I though you did a splendid job in getting your message across and defining your political philosophy in this, your inaugural interview as a gubernatorial candidate. Even so, I thought I could offer you some helpful pointers that will maximize the utility of future interviews.

Handling the Media

When you announce your run for political office, consider doing so in a U.S. publication. While the readers of The Independent will, no doubt, become big boosters of your bid for Lansing, sadly, few of them will be eligible to vote in the Michigan election.

When doing political interviews, it is probably best not to preemptively deny rumors.particularly when the reporter has no idea what you are talking about. For example, this exchange:

Nugent: "Neither did I poke my erect penis through a map of West Virginia - did you read that?"
Reporter: "No."

During media interviews, refrain from teaching the journalist how to shoot an AK-47, and don't pull out a hunting knife to trim your nails. These behaviors will not help with the urban vote.

I cringed a little while reading:

He fires at a Styrofoam bear using his weapon of choice, a traditional bow and arrow. "Straight through the heart... dead bear," says Ted, as his heavily pitted target submits to yet another onslaught. "Both lungs... dead bear." The arrows, which he makes himself, keep flying. "Dead bear... dead bear... dead bear."

I recommend that the next time you experience a maniacal bout, first ask any journalists to step outside the room. And, certainly avoid this type of behavior during a debate.

When a reporter asks: "What do these deer think when they see you coming?" ."Here comes the nice guy who puts out our dinner? Or, there's the man that shot my brother?"

Reconsider your response: "I don't think they're capable of either of those thoughts, you Limey asshole. They're only interested in three things: the best place to eat, having sex and how quickly they can run away. Much like the French."

I mean, just consider the heat that Arnold Schwarzenegger took from calling some legislators "girly men.."

The same can be said for your rather strongly stated philosophy:"Remember the movie Old Yeller? Everybody loved him. He brought us our slippers. We gave him cookies. But when Old Yeller gets rabies, you shoot him in the fucking head."

This won't play well among voters with young children--on a number of levels.

Finally, firing a .22 out of the window of your pick-up truck while shuttling members of the media may be constructive while running for office in Texas; however, voters in Michigan view this as falling outside the range of normal behaviors for a politician.

Foreign Policy

A well-formed foreign policy platform can be an asset in running for Governor of Michigan, but your statement that "[o]ur failure has been not to Nagasaki them [the Iraqi insurgents]," is just not really an appropriate start to such a platform.

As governor, your chief foreign policy issue will be trade. Saying that you "don't have to placate some Arab numb-nut because he holds all our fuel" doesn't leave much room for trade negotiations.

You mentioned that you: "visited Saddam Hussein's master war room. It was a glorious moment. It looked like something out of Star Wars. I saw his gold toilet. I shit in his bidet."

Certainly, the more conservative voter will be able to appreciate the rich metaphor of defecation on the "French throne" of the ex-dictator. However, scatological discussions are best avoided unless they somehow pertain to agricultural productivity.

Crime and Punishment

While being tough on crime is considered a positive attribute by Michigan voters, some might find disconcerting your statement: "I say if somebody robs you, shoot 'em. I'd like all thieves killed. And all rapists. And carjackers. No more graffiti. No more 'snatch-pursing.'"

At the very least, your suggestions of shooting graffitists will not play well with urban voters who would prefer to have fewer episodes of gun violence in the city.

Simple policy statements are always the most effective--especially with conservative voters. Even so, your statement, "How do you get peace, love and understanding? First of all you have to find all the bad people. Then you kill them." will cause some voters to question your ability to work through complex issues.

I'm not sure you can refine the talking point: "I saw the riding crop. A lot. I felt it, I think, just once. But corporal punishment is real good. It teaches dogs not to shit on the couch."

Consider leaving this out of future interviews.

Think about these points as your campaign progresses, Ted. With just a little refinement of your message (a little rephrasing here, a little behavioral modification there) I think there is an excellent chance that one day I will have the privilege of shaking the hand of the Governor of Michigan--the Governor who personally kills all the meat he eats.

Jim on 05.30.06 @ 01:31 PM PST [link]

Monday, May 22nd

Boingo now has 6X the airports of Wayport

Boingo, the original "we don't own infrastructure" wireless company, now has a total of 12 airports after buying out Concourse Communications Group. The airports now operated by Boingo include: JFK (NYC), LaGuardia (NYC), Newark (New Jersey, but services the NYC area), Minneapolis-St. Paul, and O’Hare and Midway (both Chicago), Toronto, Ottawa, Detroit, Oklahoma, Nashville and Atlanta.

Wayport has three: San Jose, Seattle, and Austin. [Update: Wayport lost Seattle years ago, so they only have two airports.] Wayport still claims to have D/FW, LaGuardia and Minneapolis-St. Paul, but the DFW install has been shut down for almost a year, while the relationship with Councourse has been over for 2.5 years:

"Beginning Oct. 1, 2003, Wayport's Wi-Fi service unfortunately will no longer be available at LaGuardia (LGA) and Minneapolis-St. Paul (MSP) airports. Despite efforts by Wayport and Concourse Communications, Wayport's Wi-Fi partner at these airports, we are unable to continue the relationship, in part because Wayport feels that the proposed terms provided by Concourse are not feasible."

(Those of you good at math will note that it didn't last seven months.)

That same PDF claims that Wayport operates a wireless network at Oakland, but I've never seen it. Wayport does offer "Laptop Lane" services at Oakland and other airports, but these don't (and can't) offer WiFi coverage throughout the terminal. [Clarifcation: Glenn Fleischman reports that Wayport can offer WiFi from the Laptop Lane locations. Still, this doens't cover much of Oakland's airport.]

What are we to say about a company that advertises things they don't have?

"More than four years of direct usage data showed us that high-traffic airports are the single most valuable venue for Wi-Fi usage and customer acquisition," said David Hagan, president and CEO of Boingo Wireless. "Concourse is the unquestionable leader in domestic high-traffic airports; their commitment to neutral-host systems and high-quality airport installations are a perfect complement to both our retail and platform service lines of business."

Wayport could have been (should have been) the leader in the airport space, but for the ignorance of one man, Wayport's CEO, Dave Vucina. In private conversationqs, Vucina claims that airports aren't as valuable as Wayport's traditional locations (hotel rooms, the UPS store, Hertz Rental Cars and that place that sells Big Macs), and these "facts" are oft-repeated inside the company.

But check the text of the Press Release:

SANTA MONICA, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--May 22, 2006--Boingo Wireless, Inc., the world's leading wholesale Wi-Fi network aggregator, today announced that it has agreed to acquire Concourse Communications Group LLC, the leading operator of neutral-host wireless access systems. J.P. Morgan Securities Inc. acted as advisor to Boingo for the transaction. Terms of the deal were not announced.

The acquisition means Boingo will operate Concourse's neutral-host networks in 12 leading US airports, including three New York city airports: JFK, LaGuardia and Newark; two Chicago airports: O'Hare and Midway; and other top 100 airports including Toronto, Ottawa, Detroit, Minneapolis, Oklahoma City, Nashville and Atlanta. These 12 networks represent 54% of enplanements among North America's top 100 airports, and 27% of all North American enplanements.

I think Boingo is onto something, something Vucina chose to ignore.

What most people don't know is that Concourse's original offices were located in One World Trade Center (one of the Twin Towers), and that the New York Port Authority was somehow mixed-up deep in CCG's finances:

Other income (expense) for 2001 also includes $7.0 million related to the write-down of a loan to Concourse Communications, Inc., an affiliate of the Company which provides in-building antenna sites primarily in airports and other public sites in New York City.

SpectraSite announced Sep. 12 it has sold its interest in Concourse Communications Group, a firm that develops shared wireless tenant infrastructure systems in U.S. airports. SpectraSite probably didn’t get much from the sale but the move should help the company improve its cost structure as its restructuring efforts continue.
Concourse was established to build wireless infrastructure at facilities owned by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, including the Holland and Lincoln Tunnels, World Trade Center Concourse and New York's three major airports.
SpectraSite purchased a 33% interest in Concourse in Sep. 1999 for $2.5 mil., agreeing at the time to provide $14.4 mil. in working capital and construction financing to Concourse in the form of secured loans over a three-year period. But in March 2002 SpectraSite said in its 10-K that it had written off $7 mil. related to the Concourse loan.
Terms of the divestiture, including the buyer, were not disclosed; however, given the loan writedown in April it’s unlikely SpectraSite got much for its Concourse holdings.

link.
Jim on 05.22.06 @ 04:35 PM PST [link]

Wednesday, May 10th

On Birthdays

When I was a teenager I thought I could do anything, and did.

My twenties were a blur.

In my thirties, I started a family, made a little money, enjoyed several large houses and a few fast cars, but though constantly, to myself, "What happened to my twenties?"

Tomorrow I'm 44, the pot belly and second chin doth approach. I'm certain that the music will soon start to be "too loud" and that one of my old girlfriends from high school will soon become a grandmother.

More predictions:

In my fifties I will have a minor surgery. They'll call it a procedure, but it's still a surgery.

In my sixties I will have a major surgery and the music will absolutely be too loud unless I'm so deaf that I can't hear it at all.

By my eighties, I'll have had a major stroke, after which I'll end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who my wife can't stand, mostly because I'll call her "mama".

Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have choices, and it goes by so very quickly.

Jim on 05.10.06 @ 02:48 PM PST [link]

May 2006
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