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05/10/2006: "On Birthdays"

When I was a teenager I thought I could do anything, and did.

My twenties were a blur.

In my thirties, I started a family, made a little money, enjoyed several large houses and a few fast cars, but though constantly, to myself, "What happened to my twenties?"

Tomorrow I'm 44, the pot belly and second chin doth approach. I'm certain that the music will soon start to be "too loud" and that one of my old girlfriends from high school will soon become a grandmother.

More predictions:

In my fifties I will have a minor surgery. They'll call it a procedure, but it's still a surgery.

In my sixties I will have a major surgery and the music will absolutely be too loud unless I'm so deaf that I can't hear it at all.

By my eighties, I'll have had a major stroke, after which I'll end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who my wife can't stand, mostly because I'll call her "mama".

Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have choices, and it goes by so very quickly.