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03/24/2005: "The Spokane Hot Zone, 12 Monkeys, and a dollar"

I was back in Spokane last Sunday evening and most of Monday. One of our former scumbags sued the (now defunct) corporation, with the assistance of a set of incompetent, unethical, mouth breathers who pretend to work for "justice".

I went back to kick some ass.

For the first time in forever, I stayed downtown (Oh, I used to live downtown, but I owed that wreck.) in the Hotel Lusso. Very nice place, if you have to go to Spokane. Moreover, they offer free WiFi in the lobby, and, staying on the second floor, looking at the Davenport out my window, I found that I could see and connecto to either the free WiFi in the lobby of Hotel Lusso, or the free WiFi at the Davenport, at my whim.

But Spokane's renowed "metro WiFi" network never did tickle my laptop. Spokane calls its "100 city block" network the "Spokane HotZone", and has gone so far as to spraypaint on the sidewalk in several places, all spotted while on my way to O'Doherty's on Sunday night. Unlike the picture you see here, the spraypainted version is all in red. I was immediately reminded of the spraypainted logo from 12 Monkeys.



The monkey's arms resemble an 'S', the whole thing is red, and there is a circle. Dude, thats just so.. obvious! The sign set me thinking, "HotZone"? Isn't a "Hot Zone" someplace to AVOID?

In the movie, a convict, sent back in time to stop a devastating plague, is sent too far back and is hospitalized as insane. The catastrophic plague is intentionally released by the Army of the 12 Monkeys to depopulate the world, leaving it to the animals. In short, biological terrorism at its most extreme. Humankind survives by litterally "going underground".

In the book, monkeys are the carrier for Ebola and Marburg. Outbreaks of these two filoviri continue to this day, though mostly confined to the African continent.

So there we have it. Spokane, clearly an insane assylum of its own making, marking its sidewalks with dire warnings of pathogenic plague.

Spokane, this is what happens when your city is a Hot Zone. The whole term "Hot Zone", is like a departing gift from our good friend, Donald Stalter. Read this little press release for details. Or this one. It really was his bright idea.

But the diseased monkey has left town, and Spokane is left holding the bag. Again.

"You people don't exist. You're not real. You can't travel back in time... whoop! whoop! uh-uh. I am insane, and you are my insanity."