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07/04/2004: "Ride my Llamma"

Remember the Alamo
When help was on the way
It's better here and now,
I feel that good today.

Now that I'm out of Spokane, I oft wonder if Spokane defeated me, or if the fight wasn't worth my time. Spokane is a wasteland of people who never leave. One recent night, in one bar in Austin was enough to remind me of the goodness that I'd left behind, and the utter lack of anything resembling diversity or tollerance in eastern Washington.

See the losers in the best bars
Meet the winners in the dives
Where the people are the real stars
All the rest of their lives.

People in Spokane seem trapped by the impluse to stay close to extended families, or otherwise unable to cope with a world where people are different.

By way of illustration, the most-offered query in relation to our decision to move to Hawaii is an astonished, "Why?" Some have been more clear on their intent. "Why would you move to someplace where you'll be a minority?" Yes, I was asked this, and more than once. Spokane is 94% White, and probably 85% Catholic, and most people in-town don't find this outrageous, but I do.

The people of Spokane take active, if unthinking measures to enforce this human tragedy. It is, as I've described to others, the biggest small town in these United States. Everyone knows everyone. Some make the mistake of moving to Spokane (or even returning after a successful escape) in order to raise their children in a misguided attempt to soak the kids in the mystique of small-town America. In many ways it works, but only if you're successful (or dogged) enough to be able to enroll your child in St. George's (which I highly endorse), or perhaps Gonzaga Prep. Overall the Spokane public school system is a disaster, and raises mean little punks who grow to become mean, isolated adults.

Success at raising a daughter in Spokane is "keeping her off the pole"; as long as your little girl doesn't grow up to be a stripper, you have succeeded. By the same logic, if your son doesn't turn out to be a sex offender, (back in Spokane after his incarceration, because for a variety of reasons, Spokane attracts sex offenders like shit attracts flies), you are a good parent.

The people of Spokane have inbred themselves into a kind of grey goo. They all have the same, slow attitude. Meeting anyone with initiative, or even hope, is rare. Its almost impossilbe to deal with the living dead and not become a zombie yourself. [link]

Its Apalachia, with extreme weather and trees instead of coal.

Even Las Vegas, (my hometown and present locale), with its vernier-thin culture, and population of burned-out addicts, gamblers and whores, is an improvement.


I'm gonna ride my llama
From Peru to Texarkana
I wanna ride him good
In my old neighborhood
I'm gonna ride him good
In my old neighborhood.