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04/29/2004: "Jewish Haiku"

After the warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias.
Did you wipe your feet?

*

Her lips near my ear,
Aunt Sadie whispers the name
of her friend's disease.

*

Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I will return
to the seventh grade.

*

Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she sighs softly.
But her son is 25.

*

The sparkling blue sea
reminds me to wait an hour
after my sandwich.

*

Lacking fins or tail
the gefilte fish swims with
great difficulty.

*

Like a bonsai tree,
your terrible posture
at my dinner table.

*

Beyond Valium,
the peace of knowing one's child
is an internist.

*

Jews on safari-
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.

*

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann's.

*

The shivah visit:
so sorry about your loss.
Now back to my problems.

*

Mom, please! There is no
need to put that dinner roll
in your pocketbook.

*

Seven-foot Jews in
the NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.

*

Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.

*

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

*

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh

*

Passover
Left the door open
for the Prophet Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.

*

Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.
Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah
Oy! To be fluent!

*

Quietly murmured
at Saturday services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

*

A lovely nose ring,
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.



Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness.